Da Wicked Jumpshot: LOVE AND HAPPYNESS(SP)

Roses are Black, Violets are blue......here's the Wickedest who the hell are You.

As I relish in my Tar heels butt whipping of the Puke Blue Devils, I realized it almost V-day. Now this year I didn't really have a "set-in"-(shoutout to vee and the Carolina Kitchen) stone valentine so I'm not stressing as I would in the past but........It a good time to move forward. In previous blogs I laid out the validity of the Xmas Holyday (revisit and be amazed how I don't have a Pulitzer yet). All in all V-day has to take the cake as the wackest, lamest, corniest—any more words ending in 'est---holiday ever invented. Some BS created in the Hallmark and Whitman Chocolate Sampler boardroom in a smoked out meeting on how to pump more cash into the companies. I'm not 100% anti v-day but I think there needs to be a rebuttal for it. Think of it like this, V-day is for the honeys. It's not designed for guys at all. Guys don't like roses—hell most would prefer a cactus, men don't eat Whitman's Chocolate Samplers-give me a king size butter finger. So this a totally one-sided holiday.....and that's just not fair. Have no fear, me and my staff have been working diligently working on the V-day rebuttal. We had to think of themes and ideas that can stand the test of time. That why V-day works so good, we all yearn for Love- it's a human constant, girls openly and guys more subtle. We had to think of things that men love and girls love but would never admit. Sports-naw too easy, Food-we both openly love food, Cars-who cares, as long as it got 4 wheels and cheap payments we don't care....BAM then it hit me....Blow jobs. I know my conservative crowd is gonna flip—“how could he be so crass, he's a heathen”..yada-yada but people IM NOT PUMPING-UP , IM AIRING OUT THE TRUTH!!. Bj's are the single most action loved by All MEN (actions self-inflicted were not included). The beauty of bj's are universally loved (men) and generally liked but publicly loathed by woman. These are just facts, for those that hate the truth then you hate yourself!!. Bj's are more controversial then Religion!. I don't want to fight or argue!!!

That's why we created this holiday, it's the one day(hopefully of many) that you'll receive a well orchestrated blowjob . Although were in early planning stages of this historic day, we've designated May 14th. Why the 14th....1st it's gives you a full 3 month to prepare, work out and train, call off work etc., 2nd it's a day after my birthday so it will now turn into a 4 day vacation, 3rd the weather will be nice, so if you wanted to take the main event outside-you can. As you can see, me and da wicked staff have been working our tails off to get this historic day in effect. In fact, I was doing some research on the last national holiday instituted, you guessed it MLK Day. Now that was a strong effort to get that day approved, hell Stevie Wonder had to cum(sp) up with a legendary song to get it approved. So I'm asking all you loyal viewers to think of a song that best memorializes this special day. Some early entries include:

Blowjob Betty-What could I say, It's Short Dogg

A Surefire Banger "Getting Some"-sampled from Blowjob Betty

The title is fluid.....I'd rather get some head

Wow this could easily replace Thanksgiving as the best holiday. As with any great new idea, there will be some resistance. Stuff like this might be circulating thru your spouse hed(sp) ”It’s not a perfect analogy, but one can confer some benefit from posing for the Miss NYU calendar in the same way that one confers some benefit from giving blowjobs. Pose for the calendar and your physical attractiveness has been confirmed, and it’s for a good cause. Give your partner a blowjob and you’ve made someone you care about feel good. Those are valuable things. But what does it mean when a college woman values positive feedback about her looks so much that she’ll pose for a calendar which only focuses on her hotness? What does it mean, in the context of a society in which men and women are not on equal footing and in which sex is often used as a tool to cause harm to women and girls, when women physically submit to their male sexual partners?
A simple fact is that lots of people get off on sexual power — overpowering someone, or feeling overpowered. That’s obviously not the entire issue with blowjobs, but in some situations it’s certainly part of it, just as its part of any sex act. Porn is the extreme example, where male power over women is routinely eroticized to increasingly troubling levels (rape, porn, etc). And in our individual sex lives, many of us get off on displays of power, small and large. I’m not sure that this is bad in and of itself, but in our social context is has greater meaning. The blowjob in and of itself is meaningless — but in a society where men routinely dominate, greater meaning is conferred upon it. That’s worth talking about".http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2006/06/19/feminist-politics-of-blowjobs/”

This lady should be Tarred and Feathered. Pure blasphemy!!. Her paper thin comparison of a posing for a calendar and a blow job as a power struggle is simple-minded. I can somewhat see her point as far as the sex as power mantra but leave the sacraed bj out of this. Listen, it's a simple way one must live by.....THE ULTIMATE PLEASURE IS GIVING PLEASURE. The whole power thing is only as strong as you make it, it the same idea of being the only black kid in your class or maybe one of the few blacks at your job- you can thrive or crumble!!! The ones that crumble become hairy-legged, flannel shirt wearing feminist or the miserable woman that preach there are no good men out there. Whoa.....I'm on fire....only Feminist and Bj's can make me feel like this. Another angle of resistance you might face is the “I don't do that, which is then preceded by it's nasty!!”. 2 ways you can breakthrough that ignorant mind-set, 1st is the make your spouse feel like a pea(humbling is good sometimes) cause your ignorant or 2nd -"hun, grow up it 2009 and ur not 10 anymore". The 1st method, you'll will have to use big words and talk in a very condescending tone. Hey....remember the Game is the Game...Always. “Hun, the other night you let me stick my member in ur a**, you really think a bj is that bad”, or maybe try this one “hun I know your SS#, I could open 10 credit cards and max them out..now do you think a bj's that bad”. The 2nd is using more scientific approach-”hun I eat you out even though you bleed for seven day's and don't die—think about that hun, what other animals can bleed for 7 days and not die....plus your love organ is internal and stays above 98 degrees a perfect place for germs to live and thrive...so cut that it nasty stuff out”. Either angle you come from, you have to say it with conviction and make it happen. Damn yall should be paying me for this......but I'm here to spread love. Ladies there are some rules and regulations for Bj day.

Rules and Regulations-more to cum(sp)

1.There can't be a lapse of more than 30 seconds between member and your mouth

2.The contact has to be with the whole thing not just the tip----don't get cute ladies

3.There should be some sports, music videos or porn on that he can enjoy for is viewing pleasure

4.The most important thing-Money Shot's must be kept inside the oral region or on the skin---I know its nasty, disgusting etc...........no “here's a towel hun”-suck it up—literally!!!!!!!

Damn, I went in on this one!. I think this will make for a more prosperous and happy valentine day. Plus this holiday is a non-religious one so every one can enjoy. As for those girls who give bj's frequently, the day offers you a chance to expand your craft...maybe try a BLUMKEN---(a bj while your man is on the toilet taking a dump....very nasty but Love is Blind and apparently Smell-Proof. But please remember May 14th is right around the corner...practice-practice and more practice...................T-SHIRTS AND HEDBANDS(sp) will be created and available mid-April--be on the lookout.It's all about the Love.....right

This is the wildest interview I ever scene. I think Joaquin is a top-notch actor but this stuff he's on is off the chain. Letterman is an ass but that his shtick, get over it. Cocaine is a hell'uva drug, in fact he on some other ish'...maybe peyote and acid. Enjoy!!!

My good church'folk are gonna flip-out on this blog entry. 1st the whole blow job thing now there living hero TD Jakes is in some trouble. We'll not him per se but his son. Jermaine Jakes apparently was in a “Gay Park”(what the hale is a gay park,like do they grow special tress there) exposed himself to an undercover cop and started whacking away. When I read this over the wire, I didn't know to laugh, cry or read Jakes new waste of paper he calls a book. Listen the guy's a fraud-phony etc. I want to see how he gets out of this sticky situation(no pun intended) dealing with a gay son that loves to whack off in front of cops. Now you see why BJ day is necessary, this frickin kid should have been swallowed..........lol TD Agrees-

This is a late-edition addition, but after a awesome date at Carolina Kitchen, I was watching some TV and on MPT(one of downfalls of going to war with comcast).....I saw the concert of The Stranger by Billy Joel. Simply put he the 3rd best Piano Man only behind Stevie and Ray. Open your mind and witness greatness.

One of the best songs ever....in any genre.