Friday, September 4, 2009

STRIKE FIRST-STRIKE HARD…..NO MERCY








-->NICE SUBURBAN WHITE KIDS----YEH RIGHT---THEY WILL ROCK YOU TO SLEEP!!!<-----

--->WORDS TO LIVE BY<-----

As I enjoyed another lovely commute on my 100 grand Limo aka Commuter Bus, I read in my trusty Express that Jackie Chan and Will Smith son Jayden were doing the Karate Kid over--{READ READ}. 1st thoughts---Hollywood Remakes are pretty lame and just how would the re-do the Cobra Kai. For those that don’t remember the Cobra Kaw were ‘ucking Thugs to the Nth degree. I mean in 2days time they would have been aired out the way they bullied poor like Daniel’son (think Columbine). Not even 20mins into the flick do the Cobra Kai strike. At the little beach party where Danny boy meets the uber hot Ali (aka Elizabeth Shue, who is also in my top 10 sleeper movies of the 2000’s Hollow Man) are just getting to know each other when the Cobra Kai roll-up. Now like most Bad gangs they roll-up in style---while other kids have bikes, the Cobra Kai have dirt bikes and banging ass theme music. Led by Johnny(highlight tape--



















He just made my top 10 Actors of All-time with the Clip!!!!



















they run the beach with an Iron Fist. They manage to smash Ali boombox, whip the dog piss out of Danny and then just leave the scene like fog. I mean I didnt get these guys full range of domination as a kid but I get it now…ohh boy do I get it. So the next few days or so..Danny goes to the Dojo where the Cobra Kai happen to train at…..Not Good. Now the Kai are led by there manic bad ass Sensi--You gotta peep his highlight tape--



















Pure Evil----The guy El’s out one of his students…lol.




So after the Kai sees Danny Boy riding home on bike they manage to toss him down a f’ricking cliff--not a little hill but a cliff, they could have easily broke his neck….Damn Thugs. But But wait it gets worst….Danny flips the scripts them---while Johnny is in the bathroom at the costume party rolling a blunt (Sidenote---The Cobra Kai are equivalent to the Wu Tang Clan) so Danny flips a hose on and gets Johnny wet. Bad Move, the Kai manages to to track his ass down lay a biblical ass whipping on him---luckily a 70yr old Japanese drunk saves him!!! Only in Hollywood.




The Cobra Kai were thugs, outlaws rebel and to top it all they were Republicans….lol. it safe to say there they were the toughest sum-a-bythces ever in a Teen Kung-Fu movie…….




MATCH-UP




Since Time began there was one question that has never been answerd. Good or Evil...nope...40 or a Kegger. I was recently talking to my little brother and he mentioned they play a game called Edward 40 Hands. You tape a 40 to your hand and cat put it down until its empty. Gotta Love It. Lets see how it stacks up against the good ol' Kegger.

































































































40OZ


vs.

KEGGERS
LeadersSt. Ides,211 & assorted othersBud, Coors etc.
LocationUrban=Predominantly Black and Latino CommunitiesWhite Colleges, White BBQ’s…any White Event..lol
Cost of Doing Business2.00
EffectsThink about drinking 40oz of anything in one sitting---now add the poison of Malt Liq.….your talking fights, increased rapping and philosophical skills.Usually leads to drunk Frat fights and drunk white girls flashing
EfficiencyFor under $5 you could get 80z of pure blissAlot of foam in a red plastic cup



An epic battle of brews. I’m kind of torn, I grew up on 40oz, shyt when you don’t have any money, $2 for a 40 of 211 = Good Math. Now Keggers are a a whole diff. animal, it’s very social and engaging--hello she’s doing a fricking Keg Stand on her wedding day but for me nuffin beats 40oz of cold Malt Liq…….




4afew




This is a new Column where we will utilize my World Class Interview skills by interviewer those on the edge of greatness in the entertainment, literary, political arenas. Look out for this Column to really expand and jump-off.




In the Virgin Entry(insert joke here) we interview, famed and critically acclaimed author Richard Mccrae. Richard joined us to discuss and breakdown his new book Fallen.






















KFC tests out new artery-clogging burger to rave reviews in America's heartland
By Chris Parry, Vancouver Sun
August 21, 2009 3:01 PM
The creation features a dollop of the Colonel's secret sauce wrapped in a slice of both Pepperjack Cheese and Swiss Cheese, between two slices of bacon and two filets of KFC original recipe chicken that serve as the 'bread' of the burger.
That's right - instead of bread, you get breaded chicken. Multiplied by two.
The Double Down is generally considered to be a big success thus far in the areas it has been tested, with management at a KFC outlet in Omaha Nebraska telling Australian reporters that the 'sandwich' had exceeded expectations.
The figures below are only an estimate based on nutritional information listed for individual ingredients on the KFC website, as well as ingredients that closely resemble others not listed, and data provided by nutritional watchdog groups based on generic brands, so should be taken (if you'll excuse the pun) with a grain of salt.
But if our figures hold true, and KFC won't confirm they don't, the Double Down is more caloriffic than the Wendy's Triple with Everything and Cheese (1700 mg sodium, 960 calories, 26 gms of fat), the Burger King Stacker Quad (1770 sodium, 1020 calories, 69 gms of fat), and compares closely to the fat, salt and calorie totals of three McDonalds Big Macs put together (3060 sodium, 1620 calories, 87 gms fat).




->Ummmmm where do we go from here……Ok, real talk this is the sandwhich they really wanted Oprah to endorse….reallly, could you imagine the frenzy of her passing out samples of this on her show right after a segment with there resident doctor. His head would explode like the guy from the Clayton Bigsby Chappelle skit. Real talk , this is like death masquerading as fast food, this is worst then the conditions of THE JUNGLE by Upton Sinclair.This could be the 1st bullet in the Great Supreme Chicken Battle of 2009 and beyond. My inside sources tell me Popeyes is planning something some called the 2-G (2000 calories, 2000mg of sodium) After all that, I gotta try one….lol