I ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THIS……..FA’ SHIZZZLE
TIGER WOODS @THE CHAPPELE RACIAL DRAFT
{EDITORS NOTE: I WROTE THS ENTRY THE FRIDAY AFTER THANKSGIVING. I WROTE IT TOTALLY KNOWING THIS SHYT WAS GOING TO BLOW UP AND CREATE A MEDIA STORM. THE LAST 2 WEEKS WHAV UN-EARTHED A TON OF MATERIAL BUT I WANTED TO POST THIS BEFORE ALL THE DETAILS DROPPED…WE LOVE SPECULATION}
First and foremost, I hope you all had a glorious and happy Thanksgiving. As I enjoyed the delicious leftovers on Friday morn’….a Tiger Woods story came on the bottom-line crawl. Tiger Woods in a serious car accident. The 1st thing that came to my mind was I hope he’s ok, personally not a fan of the guy but he’s a joy to watch and follow. The 2nd thought was Lake Trout and Dumpster Juice---Fishy and Stinky. As the details leaked pout my gut felling was confirmed either that or the rice cassorle was coming back up but Tiger Woods done got into some Ish’. Now what exactly went down is still sketchy but we can all agree something ain’t adding up.
{PSSSHHHH-I’M GOING TO DRIVE A 9 IRON IN THE BACK OF UR DOME IF U DONT STOP MESSING WITH THE OTHER CHICKS!!!!}
So called Timeline
- 2 a.m. Tiger gets into a accident knocking over a fire hydrant then going into a tree.
- 2:15 a.m. Tiger Wife runs out grabs a 9 iron smashes the window and revives Tiger who apparently was “knocked-out” by the crash
- 3-5 a.m Tiger is taken to the hospital with some cuts, scrapes even though the air bag didn’t deploy.
- The story breaks hit the web and all hale breaks loose.
What Really Happend Timeline
- 2a.m. Tiger comes home after a night of Hennessey and Black & Milds acting belligerent and rapping Snoops Aint No Fun if the Homies cant Have None. His wife says hun can you keep it down -He says sure and goes to his stereo and scrolls his ipod and turns up Wu Tang Clan Aint Nuthin to F*%k Wit. At this point Ellie (his wife) says “I dont know why your acting like this” Tiger “What izzzzzz you saying, this is wack I’m out”. Tiger walks down steps Ellie follows behind. “Where are you going”, Tiger “to my den to watch New Jack City”. Now here were the story gets a little purple hazy…..Tiger says uck New Jack City and heads for the garage, Ellie blocks his path, Tiger slighty nudges her and she bumps into his 5th PGA Award. On her way from getting up she grabs his bronzed 9 Iron from when he was 5yrs old and takes a swing at him. Not only is he the best golfer but he has cat quick reflexes and dodges the swing. He walks to the garage and hops in his Caddy Truck (which is parked Azz in). While in the car puts in his Gucci Mane CD and drives out the garage. Now where is he going?????? Personally, I think 2 places…his mistress house or the 7-11 to get and Arizona 99cent Green Tea and some more Blacks(wood tips preferably). So as he’s backing up Ellie runs thru the door and jumps on the hood……The Rest is all Speculation….LOL
So where do we go from here. Clearly this is Tiger really 1st chink in his bulletproof Nice guy image. Nobody is buying that lame’ass story that his PR team is trying to spin. In fact as I’m writing this Tiger and his wife have reschedule there interview with the police….um um I guess they need more time to get there alibi together. This is why Sports/Entertainer Worship is such a dangerous thing. It creates such a false sense of actually knowing the true person. Tiger is an Incredible Golfer but how in the hale do we know how he is behind that fake big ass smile and those corny commercials. The Jigga Man said it best….”IT’S ONLY SO LONG FAKE THUGS CAN PRETEND”
The best part of about Thanksgiving is getting to watch cable(screw you comcast). Wow i’ve been away for awhile. 2 things that really grabbed me was--Why in sam hell did the channel formally known as Sci-Fi changed to Sy-FY and secondly The Kardashian. Now I get it….the whole time I thought it was all about Kim but there's a deeper layer to the show. I literally woke up at 8am and managed to catch all the episodes including the Wedding. Speaking of the Wedding, I never really seen Lamar Odom outside of Lakers game but he very lucky to be 6’10 cause he boob. Btw for everything about the Lakers visit Lake Show. Man that show is so compelling, the true enigma is Kourtney (who in my views is the prettiest one). Her baby- father is a total slime/sleaze wretched swine of the earth type.
Ohhhhh before i forget (thursday on mtv @10)….I hope all have there black and white striped kangol, white swishy pants, cut off tee shirts, steroids, nasty techno music and unnecessary fights…..cant wait for the Jersey Shore show. “ IIII Luvvved Herr” This is the clip that I fell in love with the Jersey Shore---from the True Life series.
- Ok one last MTV note, did anybody catch the epic Brad from RW San Diego Fail. Plz Watch
Since the dawn of a new year is approaching real quick….it’s a good time for a transformation. Reading a buddies facebook update she mention just how sexy Robin Thicke is. While I don’t question the mans music talent pedigree (hello his dad is Alan Thicke-not only star of Growing Pain but also creator of the Diff’rent Strokes legendary theme song) I couldn’t help but think about his complete 180 style change. This is almost comical….his 1st song he looks like….like ok Jesus…lol. The new joint he looks like Charles Jones. I guess this is what Tiger is going thru right now….I'm very eager to see how he responds to this challenge. BTW, I like the before Robin Thicke much more, the music seems more fluid and not as contrite just the opposite of Tiger. Till the next Transgression!!!!!….PZ
