LOVE AND HAPPYNESS(SP)

Roses are Black, Violets are blue......here's the Wickedest who the hell are You.

As I relish in my Tar heels butt whipping of the Puke Blue Devils, I realized it almost V-day. Now this year I didn't really have a "set-in"-(shoutout to vee and the Carolina Kitchen) stone valentine so I'm not stressing as I would in the past but........It a good time to move forward. In previous blogs I laid out the validity of the Xmas Holyday (revisit and be amazed how I don't have a Pulitzer yet). All in all V-day has to take the cake as the wackest, lamest, corniest—any more words ending in 'est---holiday ever invented. Some BS created in the Hallmark and Whitman Chocolate Sampler boardroom in a smoked out meeting on how to pump more cash into the companies. I'm not 100% anti v-day but I think there needs to be a rebuttal for it. Think of it like this, V-day is for the honeys. It's not designed for guys at all. Guys don't like roses—hell most would prefer a cactus, men don't eat Whitman's Chocolate Samplers-give me a king size butter finger. So this a totally one-sided holiday.....and that's just not fair. Have no fear, me and my staff have been working diligently working on the V-day rebuttal. We had to think of themes and ideas that can stand the test of time. That why V-day works so good, we all yearn for Love- it's a human constant, girls openly and guys more subtle. We had to think of things that men love and girls love but would never admit. Sports-naw too easy, Food-we both openly love food, Cars-who cares, as long as it got 4 wheels and cheap payments we don't care....BAM then it hit me....Blow jobs. I know my conservative crowd is gonna flip—“how could he be so crass, he's a heathen”..yada-yada but people IM NOT PUMPING-UP , IM AIRING OUT THE TRUTH!!. Bj's are the single most action loved by All MEN (actions self-inflicted were not included). The beauty of bj's are universally loved (men) and generally liked but publicly loathed by woman. These are just facts, for those that hate the truth then you hate yourself!!. Bj's are more controversial then Religion!. I don't want to fight or argue!!! That's why we created this holiday, it's the one day(hopefully of many) that you'll receive a well orchestrated blowjob . Although were in early planning stages of this historic day, we've designated May 14th. Why the 14th....1st it's gives you a full 3 month to prepare, work out and train, call off work etc., 2nd it's a day after my birthday so it will now turn into a 4 day vacation, 3rd the weather will be nice, so if you wanted to take the main event outside-you can. As you can see, me and da wicked staff have been working our tails off to get this historic day in effect. In fact, I was doing some research on the last national holiday instituted, you guessed it MLK Day. Now that was a strong effort to get that day approved, hell Stevie Wonder had to cum(sp) up with a legendary song to get it approved. So I'm asking all you loyal viewers to think of a song that best memorializes this special day. Some early entries include:

Blowjob Betty-What could I say, It's Short Dogg


A Surefire Banger "Getting Some"-sampled from Blowjob Betty


The title is fluid.....I'd rather get some head



Wow this could easily replace Thanksgiving as the best holiday. As with any great new idea, there will be some resistance. Stuff like this might be circulating thru your spouse hed(sp) ”It’s not a perfect analogy, but one can confer some benefit from posing for the Miss NYU calendar in the same way that one confers some benefit from giving blowjobs. Pose for the calendar and your physical attractiveness has been confirmed, and it’s for a good cause. Give your partner a blowjob and you’ve made someone you care about feel good. Those are valuable things. But what does it mean when a college woman values positive feedback about her looks so much that she’ll pose for a calendar which only focuses on her hotness? What does it mean, in the context of a society in which men and women are not on equal footing and in which sex is often used as a tool to cause harm to women and girls, when women physically submit to their male sexual partners?
A simple fact is that lots of people get off on sexual power — overpowering someone, or feeling overpowered. That’s obviously not the entire issue with blowjobs, but in some situations it’s certainly part of it, just as its part of any sex act. Porn is the extreme example, where male power over women is routinely eroticized to increasingly troubling levels (rape, porn, etc). And in our individual sex lives, many of us get off on displays of power, small and large. I’m not sure that this is bad in and of itself, but in our social context is has greater meaning. The blowjob in and of itself is meaningless — but in a society where men routinely dominate, greater meaning is conferred upon it. That’s worth talking about".http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2006/06/19/feminist-politics-of-blowjobs/”

This lady should be Tarred and Feathered. Pure blasphemy!!. Her paper thin comparison of a posing for a calendar and a blow job as a power struggle is simple-minded. I can somewhat see her point as far as the sex as power mantra but leave the sacraed bj out of this. Listen, it's a simple way one must live by.....THE ULTIMATE PLEASURE IS GIVING PLEASURE. The whole power thing is only as strong as you make it, it the same idea of being the only black kid in your class or maybe one of the few blacks at your job- you can thrive or crumble!!! The ones that crumble become hairy-legged, flannel shirt wearing feminist or the miserable woman that preach there are no good men out there. Whoa.....I'm on fire....only Feminist and Bj's can make me feel like this. Another angle of resistance you might face is the “I don't do that, which is then preceded by it's nasty!!”. 2 ways you can breakthrough that ignorant mind-set, 1st is the make your spouse feel like a pea(humbling is good sometimes) cause your ignorant or 2nd -"hun, grow up it 2009 and ur not 10 anymore". The 1st method, you'll will have to use big words and talk in a very condescending tone. Hey....remember the Game is the Game...Always. “Hun, the other night you let me stick my member in ur a**, you really think a bj is that bad”, or maybe try this one “hun I know your SS#, I could open 10 credit cards and max them out..now do you think a bj's that bad”. The 2nd is using more scientific approach-”hun I eat you out even though you bleed for seven day's and don't die—think about that hun, what other animals can bleed for 7 days and not die....plus your love organ is internal and stays above 98 degrees a perfect place for germs to live and thrive...so cut that it nasty stuff out”. Either angle you come from, you have to say it with conviction and make it happen. Damn yall should be paying me for this......but I'm here to spread love. Ladies there are some rules and regulations for Bj day.

Rules and Regulations-more to cum(sp)

1.There can't be a lapse of more than 30 seconds between member and your mouth

2.The contact has to be with the whole thing not just the tip----don't get cute ladies

3.There should be some sports, music videos or porn on that he can enjoy for is viewing pleasure

4.The most important thing-Money Shot's must be kept inside the oral region or on the skin---I know its nasty, disgusting etc...........no “here's a towel hun”-suck it up—literally!!!!!!!

Damn, I went in on this one!. I think this will make for a more prosperous and happy valentine day. Plus this holiday is a non-religious one so every one can enjoy. As for those girls who give bj's frequently, the day offers you a chance to expand your craft...maybe try a BLUMKEN---(a bj while your man is on the toilet taking a dump....very nasty but Love is Blind and apparently Smell-Proof. But please remember May 14th is right around the corner...practice-practice and more practice...................T-SHIRTS AND HEDBANDS(sp) will be created and available mid-April--be on the lookout.It's all about the Love.....right



This is the wildest interview I ever scene. I think Joaquin is a top-notch actor but this stuff he's on is off the chain. Letterman is an ass but that his shtick, get over it. Cocaine is a hell'uva drug, in fact he on some other ish'...maybe peyote and acid. Enjoy!!!


My good church'folk are gonna flip-out on this blog entry. 1st the whole blow job thing now there living hero TD Jakes is in some trouble. We'll not him per se but his son. Jermaine Jakes apparently was in a “Gay Park”(what the hale is a gay park,like do they grow special tress there) exposed himself to an undercover cop and started whacking away. When I read this over the wire, I didn't know to laugh, cry or read Jakes new waste of paper he calls a book. Listen the guy's a fraud-phony etc. I want to see how he gets out of this sticky situation(no pun intended) dealing with a gay son that loves to whack off in front of cops. Now you see why BJ day is necessary, this frickin kid should have been swallowed..........lol TD Agrees-


This is a late-edition addition, but after a awesome date at Carolina Kitchen, I was watching some TV and on MPT(one of downfalls of going to war with comcast).....I saw the concert of The Stranger by Billy Joel. Simply put he the 3rd best Piano Man only behind Stevie and Ray. Open your mind and witness greatness.

One of the best songs ever....in any genre.





WEEKLY BANGER- KISS IS ON FIRE RIGHT NOW, ONE OF THE ONLY RAPPERS TO NEVER HAVE A WACK VERSE IN 12 YRS.---THIS IS A FLUID BANGER

I HATE...I HATE....AND SOME MORE HATE

Please enjoy the song as you party is being reached!!!
The good ole cell phone, what did we do before the good ole celly. With any great invention comes with negatives. The newest one is the song before your call. We've all experienced it. Let me set the scene. It's about 1am on a cold Friday, you just sent your last call for pussy announcement text. You know the mass text to all the mami's in your phone “Hey What's Going on 2nite”. As u put the phone down and go back to your favortie yorn website (currently mine is www.topfreaks.com, very classy, yet organized and user-friendly....a real blast(LITERALLY)!). Zuuup-Zuuuuup, we have a bite from your mass text. You see the Game is the Game.....always. That mass text was like the hook on the worm.....all your looking for that one fish to bite.......but please don't bite it...lol. Ok, so u got the text back, next you send some dumb intermediate texts...think smoke screen. For instance, “what you been up to”, “wow,it's been so long” stuff like that. After the texts , showtime happens, time to make that call. I like to call cause you can her the hope and despair(depending how good you were the last time ya'll hooked up) in the voice. You dial the number......and then it happens....the ominous sweet voice, they even make it sound like a Mountain Dew jacked up Macy Gray and she says the most annoying phrase since “I Don't Usually Do This”, the voice says “please enjoy the song while your party is being reached”. At this point your only hoping she picks up before the song gets into the lyrics. In this case it doesn't and “Jesus is the Light”
comes blarring like Frankie Beverly and Maze “Before I let Go” as the club is ending . Now I love all type's of music....gospel is very cool and inspiration but it's not really what I want to hear at 1am...aka the Vulture Hour(willing and ready to get at/eat anything just like a Vulture). Another thing, how can you keep that on your phone....what if your job call's you and they have to sit thru that. Ugggghhhhh, you must fight thru this annoyance and wait for her to pick-up. Now it's late and she probably been in all night or just got back from a lame date...either way , the convo must be Short!-Quick!-a few jokes and that's it!. After that...the ball's in her court, now we know that's a chippy existence but that's the Game......Always......

Maybe the next Mike Phelps- To Drug or Not to Drug

America is a lot of things.....the land of Milk and Honey, the land of Freedom etc, but make no mistakes the core of her beauty is the fact that we are a land of Drugs. Drugs are still very taboo in this country,. We all know about health care, education, abortion etc but very rare is drugs bought up. In the 80's we had that bs war on drugs....and the uber cool DARE program-sidenote: all the heavy drug users and dealers always wore the DARE shirts. Getting back, our drug addiction starts out a very age question. For my generation it started with our cartoons. Pulitzer here I come!!! 2 of the 80's big cartoons were indeed chronic drug users- Transformers and Gummi Bears. See your laughing right now but I'm so serious....you should see my face. Lets breakdown the Transformers. The whole beef between the Autobots and the Deceps were “energy cubes” aka crack rocks. There “energy cubes” is made from Energon- is a form of high octane fuel used by the Transformers. Transformers run on (read eat) Energon, Their ships run on Energon. Simply — for the Transformers — Energon makes the world go around. {according http://transformers.wikicomplete.info/g1:energon}. Sounds like some pure Colombian coke to me. Then the so called bad guys Decepts figure a way to store and use Energon via 'Energy Cubes”.
Wow sounds pretty familiar. Flashback- in the early 80' coke was the drug of choice, then a frickin' genius or madman(depends on the level of success) came up with a way to flip and double regular coke by making it into little cubes or crack rock if I may.
.
I'm on Fire!!!, Close your eyes and think how I scientifically pulled it all together.....where's my Pulitzer. So all in all the whole beef between the Autobots and Decepts was over Drugs.....shit there no different the the Crips and the Bloods...........the intro was right, MORE THEN MEET'S THE EYE!!!!!
One of my biggest peeve's are the people who don't think Alcohol is a drug. Are you kidding me it the most powerful substance in the world. There's no other substance even close. The things you do on alcohol is crazy, it like an out-of-body experience being drunk. That leads me to the classic Disney cartoon The Gummi Bears. They were a gang of magical bears that lived in a forest. When there arch-enemies would attack that would drink a “magic potion” and start bouncing and getting super-human ability.
Whoa if that doesn't sound like Moonshine!!!. This stuff is deep...it gets even deeper. Cats like He-man were clearly on roids- think about it, he's normal cat then when he pulls out his “sword” (kind of akward but you get the point) he get's all these muscle and the innate ability to whip ass....sure.....He-Man=Mark Mcguire or better yet A-roid.


Tv Nuggets
The upcoming tv season looks interesting. The old reliable Making the Band is back and ready for more drama. It gonna be interesting to see where Danity Kane goes from here. They have a legit following and by the sounds of it ok music. Now I can openly say I've always been a huge Aubrey fan, she sluttiness is ever so tasty. I always argue with my friends what should be her next career move. I say forget the whole singing thing and go right into the adult industry. Diddy and the girls in happier times aka before the 'plants-
Aww slutty'ness never tasted so good



, she wil be missed.
In even brighter news, HBO wants there spot back! Always the innovator and envelope pusher, HBO enjoyed epic success with the legendary Sopranos and the GOAT- The Wire. Since those shows left they been ho-hum on the cutting edge angle, have no fear Eastbound and Down is here!
Eastbound is a show created by Will Ferrel and Adam Mckay (www.funnyordie.com) about a washed major league pitcher that becomes a gym teacher. The ballplayer is played by Danny Mcbride aka played the legendary Red from Pineapple Express. Now these guys are directly of the Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen tree of comedy so you can imagine my excitement of this project.
click the link(http://www.hbo.com/eastboundanddown/) to see some teasers and trailer.....Funny Stuff!!. Another show that i'm feeling is Sober House. It's a spin-off of Celeb Rehab. I followed the show a little last year and even less this year, but i was scrolling thru and shockingly my fave B-list actor came on the show, the legendary Andy Dick . The cast has lot of washed up stars and know bodies but the Den Mother-Jennifer Gimenez(http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0319779/bio) is ever so shifty. She a classic creeper, In some clips she looks lame and avg. and other pics she's cute honey. I had to do some CSI research on her, after a quick google, I found these pixs-
She is uber, not in a normal Hollywood chick but in a sweet down to earth can eat a seven layer burrito from Taco Bell at 130am after watching Pineapple Express. I'm going to try to get her on the Da Wicked and have a little Q and A session.....Fluid

IT'S CIVIL WAR TIME
I met my good friend Rocky thru my high school/college buddy/roomate/trizzy rider the Marble Man. One of the first thing he said was he's a Duke fan...”is that gonna be aight”. As I clipped the blunt of reefer we were sharing, I thought long and hard....is it ok. Damn near year 10years later....i still wonder if it's ok. During the college basketball season we are mortal enemies...we are Ryu & Ken, Bagel v. The Doughnut, Tea v. Coffee, Tug Job v. Self-Inflicted Tug Job (ok that a win-win but you get the point). He's Duke- an elitist, well spoken, well dressed. I'm UNC- brash, big mouth, down to earth...a fighter for the common man. Every year we spar, early in on he had the upper hand but as of the last few years I've been whipping his ass. On February 11th are war begins.....again. Sadly, I will be home watchin from a bar as I wage war with comcast(next edition) and the great Rocky will be in Cameron with the other Duke losers. Is that hate your smelling...maybe a little but trust me all dookies deserve it. Ugggh there so smuggy and proper....predictions for the game.............UNC 71-puke 59. Our speed and shooting will be light's out, there forced to start that lame Greg Paulus against the speedy Ty Lawson.....(think Jessica Simpson at a Korean BBQ Spot). Have a fun time Rocky and Mill......cause the ass whipping you be witnessing will not be fun..............





The Duke Blue Devils basketball team is arguably the most hated sports team in the country. Why is there such animosity towards Duke? Blue Devil fans will have you believe it's jealousy over their success. I don't think that's true.
I am impartial, and actually kind of root for North Carolina, as do many people who simply like basketball. UNC was a basketball school and people enjoyed the history and traditions that go on there. And UNC has won one more national championship (four) than Duke (three). I don't think that could possibly be it.
So, after some research, I have come up with the Top 10 Reasons people hate Duke.

10. The Name Blue Devils: Not because of the fact that it is anti-religious, but because they are named after a the French fighting battalion "les Diables Bleus," and no one likes the French.
This actually proves my point that the hatred of Duke has nothing to do with their success, because the French Army always loses. Go ahead, type "French Military Victories" into the Google search and click "I'm feeling lucky." It comes up with this page and the "Did you mean: French military defeats?"
We don't hate Duke because they win, we hate them because they are named after the French Military.

9. Coach Krzyzewski: For so many reasons. First of all he looks like a rat, and having to watch him pace the sidelines and whine, bitch, and moan while just thinking he's looking for cheese or picturing his head stuck in a mouse-trap.
Also look at his last name, now I don't see how his name is Chi-Chef-ski. His name is Kriz-iz-ooski, doesn't that make more sense. Hey I have a tough last name (Domschke) but when you break it down it sounds like it's spelled Dom-Sch-ke, it's not Tra-lada-daski. Why should the world form to how you want your name pronounced?

8. Dick Vitale: Not Dick Vitale as a person, because, though he can be a little abrasive at times, he's good at his job. Except when he's doing Duke games, and he always seems like he's doing Duke games.
It's one thing to have a gently hidden bias when doing commentary. I can only imagine how hard it would be to do an Arizona game and not be at the very least slightly biased, but then again, I'm not a professional and people don't have to listen to me.
Vitale not only is slightly biased he is a half step away from cheering for Duke on the telecast, and not quietly but more like that one friend who won't shut up during a game, rooting for Duke. I half expect him to have blue face paint in the booth.

7. The Cameron Crazies: I am all about rooting for your team, I'm the guy who refuses to sit down, and althouh I'm not personally a fan of the jumping, I'm all for spirit. With that said, the Cameron Crazies are ridiculous.

As in this SI Article from a couple years ago: "Taunts such as 'Safety school!' (toward Wake Forest) and 'We're smart! You're dumb!' (at UNC) that play off Duke's academic standards continue to anger not only opponents but also many among the 4,000-plus students who don't attend games."
The condemnation is completely obnoxious. We don't hate you because you're smarter, we hate you because you think you're smarter than you are. Especially since their "Cheer Sheets" were inflitrated by a UNC fan.

6. Cameron Crazies Cheer Sheets: Even worse than just their holier than thou attitude are their obnoxious cheers. According to one cheer sheet, "DON’T hesitate to uphold the tradition of the Cameron Crazies. There’s a reason people all over this fine country hate us, and it’s because we’re clever, ruthless, and persistent fans. Let’s make that especially true this year. Yell loud and stay loud."
Clever and pre-printed mass produced cheer sheets seem like complete opposites to me. Their entire game plan is figured out on the sheets, if you refer back to my complaint about the Diamondback fans from October, they have to be told when and what to cheer, it's just sad.

5. Calls: They get all the calls for whatever reason the refs are afraid to call anything against Duke. Count how many steps McRoberts takes here.I think I got nine or 10.
There is plenty of other no call travels. Also, watch their guards on defense they get into position of the ball-handler, good defensive stance, legs shoulder width apart and then give them their best Tim Tebow impression and shove their arm into the guys back. Last time I checked hand checking was illegal, but that's a staple of their defense.
Were they grandfathered in or something when they added the rule? And I'm pretty sure that what Paulus is doing in the picture at the left isn't all that kosher either.

4. Flops: To go along with the calls, and as I'm sure you all know the flops. I could post videos of their flops, but I don't think blogger has the space available to host them all. Here'sthe most obvious of recent Greg Paulus flops but just search for Greg Paulus on youtube or google, all you get is video and pictures of him flopping.
It's nothing new, they've been doing it for years, and all I can picture is Coach K with a piece of cheese imitating the great Gordon Bombay telling them to take the fall and act hurt.

3. Media: Duke is shoved down our throats whether die-hard or casual observers of the game from October through April. There is a media bias the likes of which have never been seen before, for some reason everyone, with a microphone, loves Duke. It's not just Vitale.
Just over a week ago Duke was "flying under the radar." If you are ranked No. 3, how exactly can you be flying under the radar? Did I mention their next nine games are all televised? Right, silently under the radar, no one will even see them.

2. The Cheap Plays: Beyond just the dives and flops and no calls, Duke is cheap, and always have been. Skip forward to about 26 second of this clip for the best angle. That was during the '06-'07 season. Yeah, he was definitely going after the ball.
The year before that clip, in the '05-'06 we saw this happen at right. Wow, it appears that North Carolina's top player has some trouble avoiding Duke players swinging at his head. It wouldn't be, say because Coach K tells them to try to injure the other team's top player?
A man of his caliber would never try to instill values like that. Wait, it's the same guy who teaches flops and berates refs until calls go his way, right?

1. The Number One Reason: Former Duke player, current NBA Star Elton Brand, said it best:
"Thank you very much, for reminding me of the reason why I left Duke. People like you cannot and will not (sic) ever understand my situation. I'm sure Daddy worked very hard to send your rich self to college. While real people struggle. I would also like to extend an invitation for you not to waste your or my time ever again. Never being considered a part of your posh group of yuppies really hurts me to the heart. Yeah Right because I don't care about you or your alumni."


And to close with a quote from PTI co-host, and Washington Post columnist Michael Wilbon, "The number of people who still haven't seen [Arizona Guard Salim] Stoudamire is dwindling, thankfully, as is the number of people who think Duke's Redick is a better shooter.
"There really shouldn't be any debate anymore as to which player is a better shooter because, as Shakur said, the numbers are so overwhelming in Stoudamire's favor, to ignore them is to admit to some agenda."--http://bleacherreport.com/articles/53649-top-10-reasons-we-all-hate-duke/show_full#
I THINK ALL THE HATE IS OUT OF ME................UNLESS THEY WIN....